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Author Topic: A raging madman says hello.  (Read 751 times)

Offline ignoramus

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A raging madman says hello.
« on: April 13, 2012, 04:59:19 pm »
Hi everyone!

I have no affinities towards Crowley's system, I do not belong to any order, I do not practice anything, and am unwilling to engage myself in any such activities for reasons elucidated below.  I am trying to 'map my subjective territory' in an orderly and rational fashion and I found some answers, to a limited degree in the Crowley's world-view. 

In the past, I was a naive realist, materialist going about his regular business, studying what was necessary, pursuing his own interests in a rather egotic way, and having very secular views to the point of anti-spiritualistic rants. This petty, but comfy, and cherished life of mine was taken away from me by insanity. Perhaps a biochemical imbalance forcing the unconscious spring to the fore, perhaps not.

In my rage, lasting for two years I was travelling the world, I've seen many things, managed to influence a lot others, and as a self-appointed solitary king I ruled what was the unruly, while my mind was thrown in some 'infernal' depressed condition of experiencing the world, to which I got adjusted to, having no fear with only hints of what was happening to me, and around me with the voices out in the aether (for most of the time it was completely useless information, it had its function, but in a way changing me and strengthening me, not guiding me).

I would like to ask you - what's the point in accumulating knowledge, enacting rituals and becoming self-professed masters who were never confronted with the true terror? (or perhaps, some of you have defeated it - a feat worthy of praise; I have never met anyone who consciously thrown himself into a basin of horrors, and dared to say that he had power over such magnitudes, that no human will can ever dream to conquer it). The amplification of what you're trying to achieve is exactly this; you will burst into an illusion and be overwhelmed by it. What if those who've been there only fantasized about the control, believing in their own delusion? What if entering the abyss and crucifying yourself brings you a fate of torment, for becoming one with it, you are consumed by it at your every step!

Perhaps I'm a coward, a whore to the divine, a Judas, a murderer and a slanderer as the wind spoke, but those who have defeated the fear permanently are only the insane, for as long as they are insane; travelling back to the world, regaining sanity, there is nothing more to ask for, but silence, making small steps towards some places for exhausted transgressors: if possible - away from the vast ocean of delusions, from this prison in which you are the enemy of all, and reaching for the ultimate rest, as far as possible from these worlds known and unknown. 

Regards.

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The sovereignty of a mad heart that has attained, in its solitude, the limits of the world that wounds it, that turns it against itself and abolishes it at the moment when to have mastered it so well gives it the right to identify itself with that world (Foucalt)

Offline christibrany

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Re: A raging madman says hello.
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2012, 11:35:58 pm »
hello from a fellow raging madman! welcome aboard
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'My observation...convinces me that there are beings of intelligence of a far higher quality than...human...and that the one and only chance for mankind to advance as a whole, is for individuals to make contact with such Beings.' Crowley

Offline Kharlatan

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Re: A raging madman says hello.
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2012, 02:07:32 pm »
Sounds like a fundamentalistic christian or muslim to me. Good luck on your journey
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"Distrust your teacher (AOS)." Said Socrates, said Platon, said Aristoteles, said Karl Popper ... and the world moved on...

The threshold of the occult is the playground of the Kharlatan.

Offline ignoramus

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Re: A raging madman says hello.
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2012, 09:00:44 pm »
Fundamentally, the Terror cuts through the veins in the same way, apart from people who confuse maps with the theory, I want to see people who walk the talk: how many out there with knowledge exceeding everything I know but with a false pretence of experience?
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The sovereignty of a mad heart that has attained, in its solitude, the limits of the world that wounds it, that turns it against itself and abolishes it at the moment when to have mastered it so well gives it the right to identify itself with that world (Foucalt)

Offline Azidonis

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Re: A raging madman says hello.
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2012, 03:18:24 pm »
Quote from: ignoramus on April 15, 2012, 09:00:44 pm
Fundamentally, the Terror cuts through the veins in the same way, apart from people who confuse maps with the theory, I want to see people who walk the talk: how many out there with knowledge exceeding everything I know but with a false pretence of experience?

This is just silly. You are asking if someone has knowledge exceeding everything you know - but do you even know everything that you know? And then, how do you plan to place a quantifier on that, "exceeding everything I know"? The only one who can know everything you know is you, and you cannot know everything someone else knows.

What's with the obsession with knowledge anyway... All knowledge is circular, and that is what builds the cage.
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"Nirvana is the extinction of all notions." - Thich Nhat Hanh

Offline ignoramus

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Re: A raging madman says hello.
« Reply #5 on: April 24, 2012, 07:24:24 pm »
Obsession with knowledge comes from the need to organize experience into chunks of reality to make life liveable in the social consensual reality. You are right, at one point all knowledge is circular, however, I haven't reached that point, yet. Right now its a non-linear expansion into the experience, for which I try to create maps.

To be honest I have no idea what I'm doing here - just a random scavenger of reality-tunnels.

Regards.
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The sovereignty of a mad heart that has attained, in its solitude, the limits of the world that wounds it, that turns it against itself and abolishes it at the moment when to have mastered it so well gives it the right to identify itself with that world (Foucalt)

Offline larus

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Re: A raging madman says hello.
« Reply #6 on: April 24, 2012, 08:28:34 pm »
Pressumably if you had mastered the art of living and reached an epiphany of self-realisation you would not be bothering with us feted creatures on a minority web forum such as this.

It appears to me that your questions and polemics are more directed at yourself than others you are seeking out on here.

Ἰατρέ, θεράπευσον σεαυτόν
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Offline ignoramus

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Re: A raging madman says hello.
« Reply #7 on: April 24, 2012, 09:44:57 pm »
Ha! Me and mastering the art of living! Epiphany perhaps, but my life was taken away by the experience, now I'm slowly resurrecting myself back to it. Healing myself and purging all the grudges is a good start - that is true, maybe I won't transfer myself with a one-way ticket back in the arms of the devourers. I had enough psych-lab classes given by intrusions of the worst kind into my mind and body and expanded my Shadow to hell and back (in the Jungian depth psychology sense), now I'm just trying to subdue this piece of cosmic shrapnel flying through my thoughts, and yes, perhaps I'm using you as a little mirror,since mine was shattered, but what I seek is advise. 

Bless you man! Whatever it means to you.
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The sovereignty of a mad heart that has attained, in its solitude, the limits of the world that wounds it, that turns it against itself and abolishes it at the moment when to have mastered it so well gives it the right to identify itself with that world (Foucalt)
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