I have no affinities towards Crowley's system, I do not belong to any order, I do not practice anything, and am unwilling to engage myself in any such activities for reasons elucidated below. I am trying to 'map my subjective territory' in an orderly and rational fashion and I found some answers, to a limited degree in the Crowley's world-view.
In the past, I was a naive realist, materialist going about his regular business, studying what was necessary, pursuing his own interests in a rather egotic way, and having very secular views to the point of anti-spiritualistic rants. This petty, but comfy, and cherished life of mine was taken away from me by insanity. Perhaps a biochemical imbalance forcing the unconscious spring to the fore, perhaps not.
In my rage, lasting for two years I was travelling the world, I've seen many things, managed to influence a lot others, and as a self-appointed solitary king I ruled what was the unruly, while my mind was thrown in some 'infernal' depressed condition of experiencing the world, to which I got adjusted to, having no fear with only hints of what was happening to me, and around me with the voices out in the aether (for most of the time it was completely useless information, it had its function, but in a way changing me and strengthening me, not guiding me).
I would like to ask you - what's the point in accumulating knowledge, enacting rituals and becoming self-professed masters who were never confronted with the true terror? (or perhaps, some of you have defeated it - a feat worthy of praise; I have never met anyone who consciously thrown himself into a basin of horrors, and dared to say that he had power over such magnitudes, that no human will can ever dream to conquer it). The amplification of what you're trying to achieve is exactly this; you will burst into an illusion and be overwhelmed by it. What if those who've been there only fantasized about the control, believing in their own delusion? What if entering the abyss and crucifying yourself brings you a fate of torment, for becoming one with it, you are consumed by it at your every step!
Perhaps I'm a coward, a whore to the divine, a Judas, a murderer and a slanderer as the wind spoke, but those who have defeated the fear permanently are only the insane, for as long as they are insane; travelling back to the world, regaining sanity, there is nothing more to ask for, but silence, making small steps towards some places for exhausted transgressors: if possible - away from the vast ocean of delusions, from this prison in which you are the enemy of all, and reaching for the ultimate rest, as far as possible from these worlds known and unknown.