Home Forums Thelema Thelema annihilate the personality

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  • #107763

    dom
    Participant

    Actually, we’re “discussing [S.’. H.’. Fra.] Los’s [8=3] capacity and ability to explain and present things” that he has never experienced, but has only read about in books.
    That is not an easy task with an ineffable state or experience. Shiva has the advantage of knowing what he’s talking about.

    I meant the sub-thread dealing with the 8=3’s curious “sloppy analogy” as presented by Arthur (which echoes the previous recent discussion about why the variables of Symbolic Logic need to be explicit and how the 8=3 didn’t apparently grasp that).

    However you’re right in terms of the OP.

    Note also that The Phallus Of A Goat may be hampered in trying to describe a state the very existence of which poses deep challenges for his world-view (on which he has an unusually tight death-grip).

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  dom.
    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  dom. Reason: youtube link didn't work
    #107766

    Tiger
    Participant

    Can i toss in Alterity as a sub-thread ?
    Can it fit into a discussion about personality annihilation, 8=3’s and samadhi ?

    #107767

    Shiva
    Participant

    Since I just wrote about it (yesterday) elsewhere for other purposes, I suppose it’s appropriate to lock-in the synchronicity with this thread’s topic. The Chapter is called OPACITIES, also known as Obscurities, Barriers, Gaps in consciousness, and Veils. Ten Veils are identified. And the eighth of that total shall be called …

    The Veil of The Abyss – This Veil, a “very major” gap in consciousness, separates the Adept of the Inner Order from the Masters of the Supernal Order.

    Internally, this Veil separates an one’s causal body (the Soul Body or ABSTRACT MIND) from the universal consciousness (Buddhi-Atma) of the True Self. Those are all the key words, crammed into one sentence.

    Only a clear causal body allows access to the Abyss. Clear means all personal karma has been burned off – This is often called “destroying the ego,” but the ego is not necessarily “destroyed,” but rather it is “the elimination of that personality which limits and burdens the true self.”

    Thus, there is something left, but that something is in harmony with one’s “Higher Self.”

    The internal state associated with this Veil is that of desolation and undoing (it is a negative state, also called reversal ).

    In a person’s life, many things will be disposed of, disappear, or be taken away. Essentially, anything that supports the validity of a separate, individual willpower or consciousness has to go, and the universe is quite skilled in removing these heavy rocks that are chained around a person’s neck.

    Everything is not taken away. Everyone gets to keep their concepts and their possessions that support the Great Work, and do not help to prop up the tottering Ego.

    The person has no choice in this matter. All they can do is adapt to the changes.

    They will realize what is taking place, but this realization will not make them feel better.

    But at least there is a small, sense of relief in just lettings things go (away).

    Friends? They will let you down. Social support will be withdrawn.
    Family? They may have “good advice” for you, but their influence will be removed.
    The universal process will ensure that the candidate has all props removed, that he or she is inserted into a situation where absolute self-reliance is required, and that any personal ambitions, plans, or predilections are erased.

    But here’s the funny part: After the allotted timespan of “annihilation” has passed, and surely its length will vary with the individual [average, say, the better part of a year or two], one may well find that their friends are friendly again, and their family relations are better than ever.

    As has been suggested, one must go outside in order to move on through. Some great departure from the norm is going to take place.

    This is due to the fact that everything up to this point has been inside … regardless of how many great, external changes one has conjured. The entire personal show stops at the crown chakra, the “hundred meetings,” at the roof of Chesed, and to enter Binah, (no) one needs to directly access the 8th chakra … but it’s located outside the usual and customary rules of engagement.

    The human energy field, a person’s aura, looks like a sphere, is actually a bit pear-shaped (especially in the denser, gravity-sensitive bands), but factually is like an apple, which has a flowing depression along its axis, just like the magnetic field it is.

    [image of an apple next to a magnetic field]

    The 8th, 9th, and 10th chakras are located in that neutral zone along the axis Line, above the head, which is outside even the normally functional MIND. And that’s why one has to go outside their accustomed “being” and field of influence in order to access Binah, the Atmic Self.

    [image showing three chakras in the "neutral zone" of the magnetic field, above the head]

    There is no known practice, meditation, or siddhi (magical power) that will transport an Adept unto Atma.

    This is because the process is supramental, or perhaps premental would be more accurate. Both terms mean the MIND is not involved. One uses the MIND to set up a scenario that the universe likes, and then it (the universe) moves in an changes take place.

    These changes are right out of the mystical descriptions in the printed scriptures, but when they take place right in the middle of daily life, they have just a subtle touch of difference.

    ———- end quoted insertion ————-

    #107768

    Tiger
    Participant

    Did the byproduct of material processes get lost in the math realms ?
    well maybe the symbolic specters will take on form in this mise en scene .

    Well i’m copyin and pastin what shiva posted .
    Thank Shiva !

    #107854

    arthuremerson
    Participant

    @david

    In fact as I write this I’m pretty amazed that 1) he could’ve wrote that analogy and 2) that I missed how bad it is.

    As to the first I will point out that he didn’t. It’s a plagiarized paraphrase of an analogy used by Erwin. As the ever observant Ignant has noted, we were in part talking about

    [S.’. H.’. Fra.] Los’s [8=3] capacity and ability to explain and present things” that he has never experienced, but has only read about in books.

    That he failed to write his own words with respect to the subject is witness to this conclusion.

    To the second, I would simply caution you to bear in mind that analysis takes practice. Keep at it and you will find that some (perhaps much) of what you took to be clear and precise in fact wasn’t, and some that you held the same opinion of might come to look even more elegant in clarity and precision.

    @tiger

    well maybe the symbolic specters will take on form in this mise en scene .

    Parsing your elliptical style is not always easy. I will make only a brief response, assuming one interpretation. I have no interest in evaluating Shiva’s claims in the way I have Los’ on these forums. I have a great deal of respect for Shiva, his work, and his contribution to these forums. Moreover, the claims that he makes are very similar in substance to consonant claims made by sages of the venerable and ancient mystical traditions that were such an inspiration to Crowley- and I imagine to many of us here. While it happens to be my view that there is interesting research to be done with respect to understanding the logic of these claims, I respect that not all share that interest. Logic is in part a tool to aid in analysis. It’s vehemently not, so far as I’m concerned, a cudgel to be wielded against those with which we may disagree or in whose writing/claims we notice inconsistencies. Inconsistencies are, after all, part and parcel of many of the claims of the mystics and sages of many great traditions- they are in many of those traditions celebrated, as they are in a great deal of Crowley’s writing. So be it.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by  arthuremerson. Reason: clarification of address
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by  arthuremerson. Reason: economy
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by  arthuremerson. Reason: grammar
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    #107868

    Tiger
    Participant

    @arturemerson
    I have a great respect for you and your contribution to these forums though some of it is way over my head .

    That last post was good but assume another interpretation, please; if you will .

    As for logic i don’t know much about it. I tend to sniff things out and i don’t read things for its logic .
    As for Shiva i think there is a lot more there than swearing .

    #107873

    dom
    Participant

    @arthuremerson

    That he failed to write his own words with respect to the subject is witness to this conclusion.
    To the second, I would simply caution you to bear in mind that analysis takes practice. Keep at it and you will find that some (perhaps much) of what you took to be clear and precise in fact wasn’t, and some that you held the same opinion of might come to look even more elegant in clarity and precision
    .

    Do you think a study of Symbolic Logic i.e. interpreting the grammar of propositions into Truth Tables and Logic Gates helps with this?

    I suggest that if you take what I’ve just said above and work out for yourself what the personality portion of the analogy is supposed to be, the paragraph of my writing that is in question will make more sense to you. What, exactly, is ‘reduced to nothing’ in the case of the personality on Los’s account? I will say that due to the ambiguity of his account, determining this is not a terribly easy task, but we have to make do with what we have and be charitable. One hint: it has two features.
    I look forward to your response.

    Yes we can see the difficulty that the ambiguity of Los’s arguments presents us with but “it has two features”? I didn’t find two specific features to his personality portion of the analogy. What were they?

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by  dom.
    #108037

    arthuremerson
    Participant

    David,

    Do you think a study of Symbolic Logic i.e. interpreting the grammar of propositions into Truth Tables and Logic Gates helps with this?

    Seems to me among the best ways to “sharpen the sword”. Though I would say that the study of logic gates seems superfluous, and that one is better of focusing on one thing (paper) at a time. You are free to email to me to continue the discussion of logic- I fear we are probably testing the patience of the forum if we continue.

    Yes we can see the difficulty that the ambiguity of Los’s arguments presents us with but “it has two features”? I didn’t find two specific features to his personality portion of the analogy. What were they?

    I meant there were two features of the notion of “personality” in his analogy. I had in mind at the time, I think, that it was both a bonding agent and a “sense”, though reading again it looks like these are meant to be identical- the personality is a “sense” of unity that binds the pieces of the individual (individual is identical to personality?) together. We are also told that the personality is the product of an act of preferring.

    Best,
    æ

    #108191

    wellreadwellbred
    Participant

    Los: “To start with, the phrase “annihilate the personality” can’t mean something like “become an emotionless robot.” Crowley claimed the 8=3 degree, and after that point he certainly cracked jokes and boasted and got mad at people and ran the full gamut of human emotions.” (Source: https://www.lashtal.com/forums/topic/annihilate-the-personality/#post-101007)

    ignant666 to Los: “The only continuity is that you have clearly retained your immense ego, and very charming personality, in seeming contradiction to the claim (for which you admit you have no evidence whatever) that you have “annihilated” these.” (Source: https://www.lashtal.com/forums/topic/annihilate-the-personality/#post-101054)

    Somebody who used to boast get mad at people and run the full gamut of human emotions, before initiation to a 8=3 degree akin to the one claimed by Crowley, can after attainment of the said degree go on doing so (with no change) according to the Thelema taught by the latter?

    This being the case, attainment of the said 8=3 degree is not in line with the highest yogic attainment as described in The Nature of Man according to Hinduism by Swami Brahmeshananda (source: http://www.hinduism.co.za/natureof.htm). There Yoga is described as a method to conquer the mind and thus manifest the divine nature.

    According to Swami Brahmeshananda “… the highest yogic attainment is freedom from the bondage of nature. In spite of attaining the powers described above, a yogi may still be egoistic and selfish. He may use them to harm others. If he misuses them, he loses them and again becomes an ordinary human being. So the highest manifestation of divinity is the total freedom from the internal nature (mind) and external nature.”

    One’s divine nature is described by Swami Brahmeshanandan as “… covered due to mental impurities like attachment and aversion, fear, hatred, anger, lust, etc. As one removes these, one gets more and more joy, more and more knowledge.”

    Swami Brahmeshanandan states this with respect to one’s mind: “Mind has its desires, ambitions and weaknesses. Man can become greedy, angry, and in the fit of anger and greed, he can do evil deeds which might cause suffering to himself and others. It was realized that to conquer our mind is far more difficult than the conquest of external foes. So, man started finding a way to conquer the internal nature. The religious way is essentially the method of the conquest of the internal nature or the mind. A person who fully conquers his passions, desires, likes and dislikes, aversions and attachment, even his love for life and fear of death, such a man in India is called Mahavir, the great conqueror. Such a person is worshipped as God because he or she has manifest the divinity within fully.”

    #108192

    Shiva
    Participant

    ignant666 to Los: “The only continuity is that you have clearly retained your immense ego, and very charming personality, in seeming contradiction to the claim (for which you admit you have no evidence whatever) that you have “annihilated” these.”
    (Source: https://www.lashtal.com/forums/topic/annihilate-the-personality/#post-101054)

    Thank you, counselor (chancellor?), you have summarized this entire thread in one sentence.

    WR: Yoga is described as a method to conquer the mind and thus manifest the divine nature.

    Thank you, solicitor (Cancellarius?), you have managed to (make a quote) to described the actual, true path of initiation, or mystical attainment, in one sentence.

    #108194

    Anonymous

    Friends? They will let you down. Social support will be withdrawn.

    True colours are amazing .. I found that the universe must of sent signals out do not disturb and it is like I have disappeared from peoples minds.. phone doesn’t ring not even for business… other than current contracts who email anyway… yay i live 40 mins out of town so no random visitors ….I am thankful for that though going through these changes so rapidly… kids and babies see me and are hypnotized staring at me fixated or coming for hugs and chats, I am a new best friend for every cat dog black cockatoo or kangaroo that around, old people have started doing the same always saying hi and nodding and smiling at me and staring at me as if they know me but can’t quite remember from where …. when I look at people now, especially if I have been working in the sanctuary for a few hours, I see people visibly “sparking” from the eyes and it makes them jump.. it seems they know i can see through their veils to them that they hide .. and it scares the shit out of people. I wonder what i look like to them my mirror just shows a messy sated lioness after sex and a sleepy wrinkly face in the morning… I try not to look at people too close now or get too curious about what makes people tick, I seem to have become a mirror to them, they do not see me, they see their own inadequacies and personality glitches. Which it is all fine to have those glitches.. yet to find the perfect person, but own your shit, don’t hide it and pretend you are something that you are not.

    Its bizare, they lose the plot and go off and I listen and think huh? you are talking about yourself.. hello do you see me or you…I stopped my husband a few weeks back when he was telling me how to drive again and saying how useless I was.. I said wait, number one let me be me, number 2 I hate driving and always have and have always been very honest about that.. “oh look at the butterfly”… and number 3 before you start pulling my faults apart go look in the mirror and fix your own first cos.

    plus humans make me so sick … literally… I have a weird immune system that refuses to accept anything it doesn’t want.. my antibodies are huge..levels are up to 30 times recommended for example my ige (immunoglobulin E) my goblin levels are well over 2600 ..supposed to be under 100

    and I think of that all as a good thing self repair with my lil goblins. I heal quick and can get rid of most injuries and foreign shit easily.

    but being a receptive I am still training myself to stop myself accepting the energies… I used think that is selfish of me, I have been gifted the ability to help others and be able to remove it from myself, is it fair of myself to refuse to accept that dark yucky energy. This one time, many years ago I thought i could cure mums cancer.. 24 hours after being curled around a toilet bowl vomitting brown grisly lumps and going down like a ton of bricks.. I learned a few things, – I learned I need to learn how to block or get rid of it. I learned – as much as I want to heal the world my own health is a priority before that. – I learned I can do it. – I learned everything comes at a price…

    I used to do reading for people, mainly to help me learn more, but after a day of “card readings for people” my brain was fried, sick as a dog, couldn’t move, so sore, cant talk even.. and those idiots haven’t learned anything and will just fill themselves up again with bad energy and negativity that is self bought… then they just come back the next week with more cash to pay for a different answer to the same question. Hello oracle does not mean genie with magic lamp to rub and all is good. the answer was always the same.. “disaster coming and the only way to avoid is change inside and to learn and step out of yourself and look closely to fix it….saying that to people who haven’t been equipped with the tools and building blocks to do that or who need knowledge to do that is basically impossible so *give up before i start now and just smile a lot and look vacant and when someone says “oh do you do cards, can you read mine”, I say I don’t really need cards actually, they are a tool to tap into subconscious, I CAN see without them but really YOU do not want my answers cos they are not nice feely feels, everything will be roses they are brutal and honest, you want that fast quick reassurance “feel better answer” so I will just say your life is going to rock, you will win lotto, you will meet your handsome prince and granny is having a ball of a time in heaven….

    I was always sick but it wasn’t all my sick, my sick was just being stupid and eating foods I am allergic to or food way over the budget high in inorganic mercury poisons. and other energies fucking around with my own clear energy…

    I sat down next to someone, a friend who has lupus, she started talking about how sick she has been and how much pain.. and I am watching her move and lean towards me unconsciously and then watching the energy particles waft up from her towards me…. so I go home crook as and have to do yoga (my temple exercises) in the sanctuary for an hour or so to crack it back out and get myself back.

    So yeah I prefer to hide in my sanctuary and work away at remembering and removing mans fuckups since creation than to fix each and every other peoples stuff ups

    better off solving all of it and giving it to all of them at once so they can take it and learn from it and live or dont learn and die
    =======================================================

    SHIVA … Family? They may have “good advice” for you, but their influence will be removed.
    The universal process will ensure that the candidate has all props removed, that he or she is inserted into a situation where absolute self-reliance is required, and that any personal ambitions, plans, or predilections are erased.

    my dad and mum understand?? puzzled and I don’t understand why they understand, I am so gifted/richer/indescribable words/soo much love and respect/ for these two people who took me in when I was three days old and gave me an absolute awesome childhood and life foundation bricks when the rest of the world think I am nuts….I am acceptable of that label (I was charged and convicted by the gov when I was 13 of the awesome crime of “uncontrollable” thank you government, I am so proud of that one on my official record and it has always been a source of my strength).. I am uncontrollable

    lol explained it to Geb that i was pulling back and working on peeling the layers off of worldly bullshit to bring the me in me out and he agreed and starts talking to me about the bible creation stories and the parts he didn’t agree with.. *scratches my head.. this is the man that feel asleep in church every sunday and excused himself for golf with the boys as much as he could much to his mother’s and mum’s disgust…. I missed something ..dad is another one to surprise me and come out with things on a deeper level than ever said/touched before although it shouldn’t after the “out there” incidents that happened to me around when my sister was killed in a car “accident” on the 16 11 1988. I wanted answers as always and he shocked me by saying similar things had also happened to him in my sisters room.


    Husband.
    . we don’t live together, he’s a beer and skittles cowboy that sits around the campfires with buddies night after night..he watches tv and sports two things I don’t do, tv is just more fog and sports have no point. its just playing war… I would rather solve something or learn something..

    But he stays over most nights, well hey the sex is fantastic, havent talked tantric to him yet..sometimes doing can work better than talking *smiles* pure sex is pure sex….. he is slowly starting to accept my differentness which he has never done before it was always “Shutup Ma’et” he never liked me talking about things on deeper levels, or me solving things and helping others .. funnily enough he has helped me grow heaps. and he gave me huge keys to zero..

    His son walked into my sanctuary last week and his mouth dropped open catching flies and I had a grin on my face as my son said to his step brother oh don’t worry that just mum doing black magik and evil stuff

    then Wade went home and sat around that campfire with the crew as they all laughed and discussed the strange stuff I was doing in my magic room.. <— why I don’t talk to people about my work

    one of my girl friends spoke up told them to leave it alone, just because they don’t comprehend there is no need to laugh at it…she said she understands what I am doing and understands why I am doing it not that she understands the science involved .. apparently that shut them up .. let them eat cake .. while they have their eyes on me they are leaving others that can’t take it alone 😀

    Kids

    I have 6 of them, three younger ones were taken by father, he has high security clearance levels after working for telstra and nasa and giotto as a radio tech, his office was in black mountain tower in canberra earns 250000 a year and threw it at barristers to win and then stopped me seeing them.. now government has custody of youngest daughter who is getting sicker and sicker day by day as they try break her incredibly strong will (she just wants to come home to mum gov won’t let her to the point of taking custody of her to stop it)…. autistic son I havent seen for three years now in army cadets and another daughter with criminal records, violent, drugs, alcohol angry and full of hate – so sadly 2 don’t know me and the youngest knows me, is me but not allowed to be near me

    then the kaos twins, Kiralea Amber Opal the fire child Aries and Kaelan Alexander Orion (libran same day as crowley) two years apart but twins….I still shake my head watching them like an old married couple… they have never left my side and probably never will .. Keith said to me to hide them off the grid until they were grown .. i did what i could, but they were tagged when they were born anyway..kiralea was born twice (in the bag), once at 405 am and once at 415 am when they took her out of the bag after the whole hospital came for a sticky beak…they are both home educated and beautiful wonderful people who are not tainted by others and society they are treasures… they know what I am doing and just shrug and go back to their own stuff… considering how dark and powerful their father and who he was in the grand scheme they are so sweet two angels .. they dont say much but my son talks to “others” and they both have two colours one in each hand .. I would hate to see the result if they ever used it… who I am kidding.. if they have to use it, I am going to enjoy it.. justice is not shadenfraude

    then Krystal my eldest, granddaughter of a croatian gypsy queen ..life of abuse with my ex (the other threes dad) that nearly destroyed her .. she knows what i am doing and is on the same path gets very anxious but I am noticing more and more how strong she is getting and how strong she is.. it’s the toughest road to take down my path or nearby paths.. truth is the hardest master and I can see why not many others on the same road its one thing to say I worship a god or goddess but when you say I worship truth people just go *blank*

    had nothing better to do until tide turns and the fish are on the bite again down back at my jetty…

    i am not allergic to fish or seafood.. lucky me I love it .. so eating is handy and cheap…I am allergic to beef, lamb, pork (mammalian meat allergy) and chicken poultry, most veges and fruit and anything man made… true allergy of asthma phlegm angioedema sinus swollen joints and stomach/poop .. although I like swollen joints *grins

    and I just made my latest unchanges to the maat system yesterday which i haven’t fully studied yet.. like to walk away from it once a change has been made and let it sit, come back to it fresh top create then.

    #108203

    elitemachinery
    Participant

    @shiva said:

    Since I just wrote about it (yesterday) elsewhere for other purposes, I suppose it’s appropriate to lock-in the synchronicity with this thread’s topic. The Chapter is called OPACITIES, also known as Obscurities, Barriers, Gaps in consciousness, and Veils. Ten Veils are identified. And the eighth of that total shall be called …

    The Veil of The Abyss

    Is this in your current book released recently? Or is this a new book not yet released?

    @mayet said:

    True colours are amazing .. I found that the universe must of sent signals out do not disturb and it is like I have disappeared from peoples minds.

    Welcome to Lashtal. You seem to in a raw state of mind like someone entering a new realm of consciousness, or exiting one. No joke i’ve been there. As people here get to know you i’m sure you will make some new friends. But most are anonymous. We don’t have many ladies present as far as I can tell, so your presence is appreciated.

    Please be aware that the owner/editor of the site Paul has to read EVERYTHING we post (to make sure they follow the guidelines) and that group discussions fall off track when they become tomes or personal blogs. It’s ok. We’re all guilty of it. Just wanted to give you a heads up because you do seem quite verbose!

    #108204

    Anonymous

    I am.

    to the posting. It is so nice and caring of you to be polite and thoughtful to step up and speak to me to stop me embarrassing myself 🙂 thank you. I appreciate it. Sense of humour, something that was not in logos at creation.

    Asset or liability? Keep or kill? I am keeping that one it kills sadness

    It’s not called the universal joke for nothing. Welcome to Aussie . The land that is either in flood fire famine or drought has developed a solid rock wicked sense of humour and the awesome ability to laugh at self and the trials and cape tribulations of existence.

    I admin groups and forums (its taught me loads about crowd, group, human nature and so on and I have been a web developer graphic designer & computer tech for nearly 20 years now installed quite a few and so I comprehend spam and waffling posts but logos is logos

    Aleister was very proetic .. another new wordlet Proetic one who uses vast prose in a strong active way to present logos in a harmonic way for the earth mind to asbsorb

    I can be proetic and I can be straight to the point short and sharp.. depends if the sun is out or not

    In a raw state of consciousness….. well, well well three holes in the ground.. yeah nah. in some way yes some ways no, a lot of forgiving to do to move forward fairly .. not of me, I forgive me but forgiveness of . I have always known who I am and just being me has been a reason of silence for many many years until it was time. One must compute analyze and conclude to make judgement.

    It’s time.

    the clock struck one

    the cat fell down and became the lion star

    Hi Paul *waves and does a happy dance

    #108208

    elitemachinery
    Participant

    @mayet said:

    I admin groups and forums (its taught me loads about crowd, group, human nature and so on and I have been a web developer graphic designer & computer tech for nearly 20 years.

    Awesome. My friends always called me Major Tom because of all my computers. I’m pretty good with stuff and have monitored some forums and built some websites. I also built some machines to mine crypto so i’m pretty much always online.

    Welcome, again!

    @shiva back in the 80s i had a horrifying acid trip where I lost all sense of ego and was convinced i’d gone completely mad. I was horrified and certain I would/could never return to the real world. “I live in Electric Spongeland!” I loudly proclaimed. I eventually became a hairy goat/pan figure (common among acid users coming down i’m told) while I slowly came back to reality but the experience was quite horrifying and (i’m told) common amongst LSD users early in their experiences. What is the difference between safe/unsafe productive/unproductive annihilation of the ego? What role does the ego play? If the ego is not present at all isn’t that just insanity? At what point does annihilating the ego become counterproductive?

    #108210

    ignant666
    Participant

    My most terrifying acid experience was New Year’s Eve of 1977. I was at a rich girlfriend’s apartment on the Upper East Side, just east of Fifth Avenue.

    It was late at night and everyone else had gone to sleep. I became convinced my navel and anus were gradually drawing ever closer together, and that when they met, and i became a human doughnut/torus, i would die.

    I did what any sensible person would do in the circumstances: took off all my clothes and climbed out the window onto the awning out to the street, to await the sunset. The girlfriend lived on what Americans would call the second, and Brits the first, floor, so this was easily done.

    I sat naked on the end of the awning looking east for some indeterminate period, until the sun came up, and my concerns as to anatomical change were allayed. It is quite cold in NYC on New Year’s Eve, but i recall no discomfort on this score. Fortunately, it was also very quiet on that very posh block at that hour, and i performed my vigil unobserved; the doorman in her building stayed indoors the whole time. After the sun rose, i climbed back in the window, and went to sleep.

    My several experiences with “ego death”, wrathful entities “taking my inventory” (as they say in the other AA), the “machine elves” so-called, etc., etc. were as nothing compared to this quite terrifying experience, which may have put me off “libation” for as much as a week afterwards.

    The thing i learned from this and other “bad trips” was that psychedelics are like being in heavy surf at the shore: if you try to stand rigid and upright, the wave will smash you down and “boil” you under the surface. If, on the other hand, you float on the surface, and take a breath and duck under just as the crest of the wave hits you, and let the wave flow around you, you will be fine.

    The same “relax and surrender” advice appears to apply to similar states that appear un-summoned (chemically speaking), at least in my experience.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by  ignant666. Reason: add
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